Thursday, October 30, 2008

WOW, Boot Camp was amazing last night! Especially these tricep lifts we did. They way the instructor described how to do it finally hit home with me and I was able, for once, to really target those wobbly wings back there. I can sure feel them this morning.

Still feeling exhausted and desperately need some more sleep. But I feel like I'm turning a corner and I'm feeling more positive than I have in a few days now. I even had the 'out of left field' thought that there's 2 more days left in this month and then November will be my month. Not sure where that came from or why I think November will be the turn around, but it's there. Here's hoping that I'm right. Alot has happened this month and I'm thinking that that is being put behind me and it's time to move on.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Today my husband and I have officially been "together" for 20 years. We met Oct 27th at my high school dance when I was 15 and he was 19. We both liked to jive dance (odd but it was kind of the thing at school at the time) and we were both good. My (male) friend/dance partner had asked him to show us some moves and we were really good together so he asked me to a dance that weekend - neither of us had interest in dating the other. But we went to the dance, had alot of fun, a few slow dances ... and here we are 20 years later! Hard to believe that much time has passed.

Got my bread all made last night - 6 loaves! Baked two - sliced one for eating this week and just wrapped up the other. The other 4 I packaged up and put in the freezer. Except ... in the middle of the night it suddenly dawned on me why I should have shapped them approximately into a loaf before I froze them. But I packaged them flat, so maybe have to make them into buns or something after I defrost. I'm really getting into this make ahead cooking, though I'm far from organized with it yet.

Did a nice walk with the german shepherd Heike last night. Sure is different taking such a big dog - when she sees something that piques her interest I really have to hang on! But she loves to get out and I'm glad to take her.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Someone ... please ... shoot me! I can not believe I gained again this week and am officially just over my starting weight from a challenge I started 8 weeks ago. This is insane! My journal is 100%! I get tons of APs! I've checked, and rechecked my points/journal/APs to make sure I'm not missing something. I'm not undereating either. As far as I can tell I am a WW's poster child right now. And if my measurements mean anything I haven't gained muscle and lost fat. Though I didn't check my body fat from beginning to now - mostly because in that aspect I believe my scale is a liar and very inaccurate.

So VERY frustrating!!!!

Anyhow, did a nice long walk with a friend last night while our boys were at soccer. Walked with her for about an hour and when she had enough I continued walking by myself for another hour. Weather was so nice for a fall night!

Also, my husband picked up 20 lbs of chicken yesterday so when I got home from work I took all the skin off the drumsticks, chopped up some of the chicken breast tenders into stir-fry pieces, and washed up the remaining - then packaged them all up into seperate baggies with varying marinades and stuck them in a freezer. For under $30 I put together 10 (or maybe 11) meals. Gotta love that price!! Made some of my homemade teriyaki -mmm so good and put that in a bunch of them, plus fajita marinade, sundried tomato, spicy thai chili, & honey garlic. My son wants me to do ribs too in the teriyaki.

Have to make some more bread tonight too! Look at me - Miss Domestic :).

So looking forward to lunch today. I love Subway's roasted chicken breast salad (and sandwich), especially with the honey mustard dressing - mmmm. I had leftover grilled chicken so this morning I chopped it up, along with all the salad fixings - and I mixed up a batch of honey mustard dressing using fat free mayo (mmm - so good). I can't wait for lunch!!

Trying hard to ignore the scale reading from this morning and move forward. I did avoid going on it for most of last week and even though that didn't work for me for this weigh in, I think I'll try it for this whole week and see how it goes. I'm getting desperate to try anything - haha.

Monday, October 27, 2008

What a crazy weekend. Felt like I never stopped doing something and it's actually hard to remember everything I did and everyone I saw - haha. I think that's a good thing.

I made bread this weekend, which I haven't done in a long time. A friend of mine, who is also in a financial crunch, said she's been doing that for a while and I thought it was a great idea. It wasn't the healthiest recipe, it was kind of a halfway healthy recipe with oats and some whole wheat flour - but the family liked it. I'm going to seek out some better recipes though and can always make different types. I'd like to freeze some dough and then when you want it you just take it out and leave it in the fridge and I can bake it to have with dinner.

Went to the Women's Show Saturday night. Been going for years and it's always a good time - though I think next time I'll go on Friday like I normally do because the freebies are SO much better. Ran into an old friend who's son went to school/soccer with my son when they were little. He's a firefighter and was part of the firefighter calendar fashion show they had there. So that was pretty cool seeing someone I know doing that.

Also, they had a TOPS booth at the show and I spent a couple minutes talking to the lady there. She gave me some good info but seriously they need to find someone a little more inspiring to man their booth. And when I mentioned that I was thinking of going to my friend that was with me she completely surprised me and said she would be interested in checking it out too. I didn't expect that as I've never really witnessed this friend being interested particularily in health/nutrition/weight loss. So I mentioned it to another friend the next day and she too may be interested. In a way I'm happy these ladies want to come along, but I also had kind of wanted to go into this on my own to get started. Not sure how to explain that - I like the idea of going with friends, but I guess I wanted it to be just about me and not feel like a group activity. The group things are great, but sometimes I feel that if your friends drop off it's almost harder to keep going. Anyhow, I'm happy for them that they want to try this too. I have to phone the lady about it today.

Sunday morning I went out with my "running" group, except I walked with two other ladies this week. I just didn't have it in me to run this weekend and really enjoyed our walk. We went on a different trail and it was quite hilly - also quite slippery and lots of things to trip over so I'm glad I walked.

Sorted out some things with that friendship I ended and stayed up really late writing her back on Saturday night (which will leave me tired for a few days). People have said I'll feel better once it's behind me. Part of me does feel better for getting it out, but it's never nice to end a friendship. Even though I can't be friends with her doesn't mean that I wanted to hurt her feelings - which how do you not when you're telling someone you don't want to be friends with them anymore.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

It was hard to do, very, but I've now done the first step to dealing with my "situation". Ending a long time friendship that had gotten kind of toxic. A little afraid of what the fallout will be. I don't doubt there will be some kind of backlash.

I actually wonder how much this situation, and the stress from our current financial situation due to our relatively new company, affects my weight. You always hear that stress can be a factor, but I've always thought that was for "other" people, that I'm stronger than that. But maybe I'm wrong, who knows.

I've never thought of myself as an emotional eater, and still don't. I know that recently my eating has been OK, but yet I'm still not losing, and occasionally gaining - so could it be stress related???

I sent an e-mail to the area coordinator for TOPS. I haven't decided for sure if I'll go or not. She gave me the phone number of the chapter leader for more info. I like the idea of the groups and the "games", I just don't know if it will be what I need. Not sure when I'll decide on this.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm feeling so frustrated today. :( I feel like I'm working so hard and just not getting any results. Some days I can suck it up and appreciate all the other benefits of a better lifestyle. Other days (like today) I just want to bang my head against a wall until either it breaks, or I do. This week was pretty darn good, very active and mostly OP. And the 2 days that I wasn't 100% OP, I wasn't way off either. I certainly was within my weekly extra points allowance. So by all means I should be losing.

If it were just a week here or there it wouldn't bother me, but this just keeps dragging on. Obviously I must be doing something wrong - I just can't pinpoint it. ARGH!

I find myself laying blame that I didn't work out last night. Realistically though missing one workout shouldn't make a difference. I was exhausted and knew my body needed the rest, and I stayed OP.

I don't know ... guess I'll just keep plugging away. I DO know what giving up does - it makes me fatter, and I don't want to go there. I'll just have a little pity part for a while :(.

Today is also a bit of a stressful day because I have to face a situation with someone that I've been avoiding for a while now and can no longer avoid. It must be done, but it doesn't mean I have to like doing it. I know what I have to say will hurt her, but it's not fair to leave her wondering what's going on. I need to have the strength to stick to what I feel and be honest.

Monday, October 20, 2008

OMG Yesterday was SO much fun. Went out with the family and some great friends. We took 2 double seater ATVs and 4 dirtbikes and went up some backroads. What a gorgeous fall day and so wonderful to be out with friends, family & fresh air! It was my son's first time out on the trails on a dirtbike and he had two crashes, one where he got pretty banged up. He was taking it easy but experience can sometimes be a bit expensive to obtain. Got in quite a bit of activity though because there was lots of technical areas where most of us had to get off and hike up the steep, rocky terrain (even the dog ☺). Poor hubby bore the brunt of it as he had to keep running down the mountain and bring up the bikes for those of us who didn't have the ability to do so.

I also dragged my butt out of bed early in the morning and went out for a long jog/walk. It was SO foggy, but lots of people were out and I actually really enjoyed myself. I didn't connect with my running girls in time and they had gone to another location, so I was by myself.

I'm really struggling with a few things that I have been pondering. I've been working out - ALOT! I'm not complaining, I quite enjoy it and I really do feel so much better when I'm exercising regularily. And my eating, while far from 100% really hasn't been horrible overall. Yet I'm not losing weight. I've been bouncing within a 4 lb range for a good 6 weeks now. I've had some really bad days, sometimes a couple in a row. But overall it's been decent and I should be at least losing a little. I'm really not sure what is going on.

It's got me thinking that maybe I need to look a bit more at what I'm eating. Maybe it's that I'm not getting enough protein. On my "off" days I know I'm getting very little, if any, protein and no milk (another high protein food). And I've been doing alot of weight bearing activities lately, so maybe I'm not feeding my muscles properly. I'm definitely feeling the effects of my exercise. And I can't buy into the argument that I've gained muscle which weighs more - because I'm not noticing any real change in how my clothing fits, in fact some things I think are a bit tighter. I'm definitely retaining water, every day I have deep grooves at my sock lines. Yet I'm drinking lots of water and I don't think I've changed anything with sodium intake.

It just gets so frustrating at times, though I'm nowhere even close to consider giving up and returning to old habits. Even if I'm not losing weight, I'm not gaining, and I feel great!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Stayed OP today - yeah!!! Was pretty busy too though so it wasn't exactly hard. We're refinishing our garage and I had to screw on the cedar boards. My one arm is so sore - from fingers to the entire shoulder. DS had a soccer game this morning too and came SO close to scoring a good goal - he's just starting to play forward after many years in defense.

I was really proud of myself for part of yesterday. I was busy doing my OAMC in the morning/early afternoon. Then DH called up some friends and invited them over to play Scrabble last night. So my plans to work out in the evening were shot. But ... rather than just let it go at that, I dragged (yes, literally dragged) my butt downstairs and hopped on that treadmill. Though, what an awful workout.

Usually I enjoy working out. Sometimes I hate the first few minutes, but then I get going and I remember what I love about it. But yesterday I just couldn't get there. I cursed every step I took, hating every second - but knowing that I needed it. I managed to get 30 min of running and 45 walking - so I guess it was OK.

Bad thing about yesterday was DH bought these Butter Toffee peanuts and they kept finding their way into my hands. At something like 250 calories per 1/3 cup it was pretty ugly. I swore off of them today though.

Tomorrow we're hoping to go out with some friends on our ATVs and dirtbikes, which will be alot of fun AND a non-food activity! Gotta love those. And I'll do my Sunday morning run with the girls too. That should keep me away from mindless snacking for the day. Let's hope for good weather tomorrow!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Will come back to update in a bit - off to pick up DS.

Just wanted to make note of this website I came across today. Not exactly weight loss related, but rather just some ways to be a bit more organized, plus save money. I'm always a bit interested in Once A Month type cooking. I've dabbled in it a bit, but never really gotten serious. Here's the website, to be looked over more in depth later ....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Had a great day yesterday. Ate within points, got in 50 minutes of exercise, and really pushed it by running faster on the treadmill. I used to always run at about 6.0 mph and have been struggling with that. I started wtih 5.0, but then (as per usual) I got competitive with myself and decided I wanted to do 4 miles in 40 minutes. So that meant I had to step it up. I moved up to 6.0 mph, then 6.5, then 7.0 and for the last bit did 8.0 (phewf that one was hard). But then I went back to 7.0 and it seemed almost easy. And ... I got 4 miles done in just under 40 minutes.

Not sure what the heck is going on with the scale. I was 158.0 yesterday morning, ate really well, exercised. Before bed I weighed myself and was 159.0, normally that would ensure a loss by the morning as I usually lose around 2 lbs overnight. But, when I got up I was 159.4 - so I gained 1.4 from the previous morning and .4 while I was sleeping. How the heck does that happen??? I'm baffled. I actually asked my husband if he happened to notice me get up and go eat something in the night, which of course I didn't - haha. GRRRRR, so frustrating. I'm not going to get hung up on it because I'm sure it's just some stupid unexplainable fluctuation. It's just annoying, that's all.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I sure got those APs this weekend. It was tough work, but had to be done, and certainly challenged me. Last night I also ran on the treadmill for 80 minutes (well 82 to be exact) - 7 miles, and 840 calories burned (according to the machine). Did not eat the greatest yesterday, but could have been worse and with my earned APs I only went over my daily allowance a little bit.

Goals for this week are:

1) once again do a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise every day

2) although I'm allowed 35 extra points per week, I don't lose when I dip too far into those. This week I won't allow more than 10 extra points.

3) Per the OP Challenge - do something nice for myself. I'm going to try to book some time at the spa. I need to use up my gift certificate soon anyway. Alternatively I'll either book a haircut, or just buy myself a magazine and relax with some candles and a nice cup of tea.

4) Per the OP Challenge - push myself harder in my workouts. I've been doing this for the last week but I'll push harder. This week I'll log more running time than walking. At Boot Camp class I'll push myself a bit harder, especially during the cardio portion. And at Bodysculpt and Abs, Butts & Thighs class I'm going to add another riser to the step portion.

5) Make stir fry at least once this week. I find this is a really good meal to keep my evening points in control.

6) Maximum 3 meals to be bought this week, even if they are healthy like Subway. Eating out is a waste of money and most of the time it's healthier to make my own meals.

Today will be a challenge to get my exercise in. My daughter has a volleyball game after school that I'm driving some of her friends to, and then tonight I have a soccer meeting, plus I really want to watch 90210 - heehee. But I'll fit it in somehow!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It was so nice out yesterday that I just couldn't hang out in the house and I went for a nice long walk before my Boot Camp class. Class was good too. We did some of it outdoors which was great. Love the fresh air and the cool temps of fall.

Apparently I could get in lots of APs this weekend as we just had two big trees taken down on our rental property and we have to go clean it all up. I just hope the rains stay away because I'm not into working out there in the rain. But what must be done, must be done. The tenants are crazy about their yard and won't want it left sitting there.

Didn't sleep well last night and am dog tired today. Got up too late and didn't have time to make lunch or breakfast so have to eat out for those meals, but will chose wisely. Breakfast was McD's english muffin and a fruit & yoghurt parfait without the granola. I'm thinking lunch will either be a subway sandwich or salad (depending on today's deal) and of course my massive container of veggies. Not a clue what dinner is, will have to stop at the store on the way home. Chicken Stir-fry or Beef & Broccoli would be good though to get in my oil for the day. Finish it all off with a Chai tea while watching So You Think You Can Dance and that will be a good day!
Tuesday - 120 minutes of exercise - WAHOOO!!!!

60 min walk with Tia
60 min Boot Camp class

Points eaten - 25
AP Earned - 6 (or more??)
OP day - YES, again!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Tuesday Exercise - 70 min walk with the German Shepherd. I haven't taken her out in a long time and she was pretty good. Only almost knocked me off my feet once when I was standing on the side of the road talking to my husband and she saw a cat in a yard and ran after it. :) And she's also a heck of a lot stronger than my little dog.

Points eaten - 24
AP Earned - 4
OP day - YES!
Been having some great OP days lately, unfortunately the other days are so OFF OP that I don't even want to think about them. It really is important for me to journal everything, EVERYday!

I've prepared my written journal for every day for the next week and really don't want to leave any ugly, empty pages. I've also pre-planned my exercise for the week as our mini challenge is to get at least 30 min every day. So here's what I have planned:

Tue - 30 min running & 30 min walking on treadmill
Wed - 60 min Boot Camp class
Thu - 30 min running on treadmill & 30 min weights
Fri - 60 min Abs, Butt & Thighs class & 30-60 min walk (hopefully outdoors if weather is OK)
Sat - 30 min run on treadmill & 60 min walk outdoors
Sun - 90 min hike up local mountain or running with group (hoping for the mountain)
Mon - 60 min Bodysculpt class (if it's on) & 30 min walk on treadmill

Even though I have the gym at home, I'm finding that taking the fitness classes pushes me a little bit harder to do things I might avoid when working out on my own. I'm really hoping that our running group goes hiking this weekend. It may be one of the last weekends that the trail is open for this year as the frost/snow could be coming soon.