Payback is a &*%$#!

Have you ever done something, or not done something, all while knowing that there is going to be a price to pay?  There are going to be consequences.  And the longer you do it (or don't do it), the bigger that payback is going to be.

Well, that's me right now.  I'm there.  Living every moment of that awful feeling knowing that I, and only I, am responsible for the choices I've made.  The way I'm currently feeling is COMPLETELY my doing.  It sucks!

The last two months I've been in a funk.  It started with a lack of interest in running.  No wonder considering I had an injury and just a lack of focus after helping my friend train for a marathon.  I didn't worry too much about the lack of running.  My body needed some rest to heal, it really did.  My weight didn't change and I was still eating healthy, so no big worries.

But, of course, that snowballed.  Eventually my eating habits started taking little hits.  A few less veggies, a little less water, some unhealthy choices.  Somehow I was still getting away with it.  My weight crept up a couple pounds, but I still felt pretty good, still looked fine, and my clothes were still fitting the same.  I was getting away with it ... or so I thought.

We're now going full speed down that slippery slope.  What started as less exercise and a little unhealthy eating has now morphed into a monster who does not exercise, and those bits and bites have turned into a daily habit that includes everything from Snickers bars and red licorice to McDonald's Double Cheeseburgers - sometimes all of the above.

I've hit rock bottom! 

My clothes are tight.  Those "couple" pounds have grown far beyond what I am comfortable carrying as a "few extra".  I'm SICK of feeling full ALL THE BLOODY TIME!!!!!!!  I've forgotten what "hungry" feels like.  I haven't felt a hunger signal in I don't know how long. 

I'm done!

The journals come out again.  The filthy habits stop NOW!  Summer is coming and I won't be comfortable this way.  Heck, I'm not comfortable this way now and it's cold & rainy.

This morning I weighed 154.2, though I FEEL like alot more than that.  I hate being over 150 and really feel best under 147.  Commencing today, I will be reporting my weight every Monday morning. 

Enough is enough .... I'm coming back!

Heidi

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Beach Day

Hey all.  Nothing too exciting in my world.

Finally getting some warmer temperatures and a bit of sunshine in between the rain showers.  I really shouldn't complain when most of the rest of the country is still getting plummetted with snow, or can't even see their lawn.

This weekend we had an especially nice day so I did a little outing with my daughter and we went for a walk at the beach. 

Little Miss Tia loves getting out on adventures

The tide was way out and there was lots of shells scattered around

Me & my little girl

Shortly after this I even got warm enough to strip down to my tank. 

(sorry Syl ... I know how much that upsets you - teehee)

Sure was nice to soak up a few rays of Vitamin D!

Probably would have been a great day to get out for a run ... but this was quite enjoyable.  Didn't accomplish any runs this weekend, but did to a ton of spring cleaning.  It's in the air ... what can I say. ;)  I may not be running much, but I am being active.

Heidi

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Double Silver

Thanks everyone for your understanding regarding me not going to that race on the weekend.  I really wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get and was surprised how understanding everyone has been.  In fact, I've only had one person kind of ride me about it, but I think he was mostly kidding me and he likes to tease me more than anything so it doesn't bother me.  Not that I've regretted it at all.  I am still glad I didn't go.

Monday was a bit of a lazy day.  I still felt some fatigue and figure I must be fighting off the bug that is going around.  After work I had a good long nap on the couch.  It felt great!  My daughter got hit with it pretty good and I'm hoping that with the downtime I can keep fighting it off.  Fingers crossed!

Last night though I decided I needed to get on the wagon again.  It was still downpouring though, so no outdoor run for me.  I went downstairs to the gym, but my daughter was using the treadmill.  Apparently running makes her feel better when she's sick.  She's NOT a runner by any stretch of the imagination, but she does like to run on there when not feeling well.  She has a strange healing plan.  She shuts down completely for about 24 hours.  Does NOT want soup or anything else that most people associate with eating while being sick.  Then, she does something active (usually running on the treadmill).  And BAM, she's better.  I don't get it, and she is a bit of a strange duck, but it works!

So, while I didn't run, I did do something I haven't done for a while ... WEIGHTS!  Not a long session.  It was getting a little late and I wanted an early night.  Plus, I haven't done weights in SO long that I knew I'd have to keep it on the light side or I'd be paying DEARLY and then have to take a few days off.

Sure enough, this morning I can feel it in my pecs and my arse!  Good thing I didn't do more.  So far this is survivable, hopefully it doesn't get worse throughout the day.  The sun is actually out at the moment and I'm dying to get out on the road for a run.

A little exciting news for us over the last two weekends.  Soccer season is winding up for the kiddos.  Actually, not just the season .. this could be it for soccer in our family.  My daughter will not be playing at all again.  She played once when she was little, then decided to try it again this year ... it's not for her.  In her own words, she's "not good with balls".  Good statement to hear out of your fifteen year old - hahaha.

My son has decided that he won't be playing club soccer next year ... which is the last year of youth.  Honestly this makes me sad because I absolutely LOVE to watch him play.  He's pretty good and he plays with such drive.  It's alot of fun to watch.  He's played for over 10 years and it's been a big part of our lives.  But, he wants to do other stuff and has grown bored with the sport.  He may play school soccer next year as it's a short season, but not club.  His team had a season wind-up party the other night and I got kind of choked up leaving.  I've managed the team for most of the years he's played.  Going to miss them all - great group of kids.  One of his coaches joked that while my son may not be back next year, I will.  HAHA, yeah not quite. ;)  I never played soccer growing up, but I fell in love with the sport after being involved as a parent.  One of the BEST sports for all around fitness.

Both kids teams made it to the district finals this year ... and both won silver medals!  Neither team was expected to make it that far and they did well.  My daughter's team was tied at NIl until about 10 minutes left in the game when they gave up 2 goals and lost.  My son's team was leading and dominating the final game at the start, but a devastating line-up change cost them the game and they weren't able to recover.  Oh well, just as well, if they'd won they would have had to move on to the next level which would have meant another month or two and he wanted to be done.

Here's their team pics with their medals:

Bonus points if you can figure out which kids are mine - hahhaa.  (Family not included!)

I've made plans this weekend to run with a friend of mine I haven't seen in some time.  I've decided it's time to get back to having fun with my running, and to have more balanced workouts.  Right now I'm not interested in training for a specific run.  I just want to have fun and enjoy myself ... oh, and look smokin' hot too. ;)

Keep Active!

Heidi

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What's bigger, your ego or your brain?

So ... when is a race recap not a race recap??  When no race was run!

Yup, you heard right.  I didn't run my race. 

I had everything ready to go.  Clothes laid out.  Running pack all loaded.  Garmin charged and ready to go.  Pins on bib.  All I needed was me.

The alarm was set for 6:40 (Which I set the time but actually forgot to turn the alarm on, but then remembered halfway through the night).  I awoke to the alarm going off AND my cell phone ringing.  It was my running pal. 

She said ... have you seen outside?  It's crap!  Do you still wanna go?  I told her that I did.  Then she uttered those words that crack me ... Are you sure?  It's bad.  I'll go, if you wanna go.  But honestly I don't want to get sicker (she's just getting over bronchitis) so if you don't want to then I'm totally fine with it.  I told her I'd think about it for a minute, then call her back.  She's not one to back out of things easily, and we've done ALOT of running in miserable weather.  So her giving me an out, I figured she really didn't want to be out there.

So I crawled back into bed and relayed the conversation to my husband ... as I listened the the rain pelting sideways against the window and the wind howling.  He said if it was him he wouldn't go.  I asked if it was because of the weather, or the lack of training ... or both.  He said the weather - which surprised me cause he's a pretty tough cookie and I didn't think rain would deter him.  We are rather used to copious amounts of rain in these parts! :(

Then he said, "What's bigger ... your ego or your brain?"  I could go out in disgusting weather, untrained - just because I had signed up and because if I didn't go I'd have to tell a bunch of people that I'd bailed.  Or, I could chalk this whole mess up to it not being the right time and stay dry and warm. 

Not to give myself an easy out here, but I have had a slight sore throat the last couple days and a few days ago I was a bit lightheaded.  My boss has been horribly sick all week and I've been afraid I was catching it.  After the decisions was made and I spent 5-10 minutes more questioning myself and almost changing my mind .. I fell fast and deep asleep until 10:30.  Apparently I needed some sleep.

It rained HARD all morning and as of right now I don't regret not going at all.  If I had trained for it and had something to prove, then yes, I think I would have gone.  But everything was stacked against me and I really didn't see what point I'd be making just going out there and suffering through it.

There will be other races.  One's that I will actually be prepared for.  One's that I'll be willing to suffer through miserable weather for, because I have true goals that I've set and am prepared to conquer.  Today was not that day.  Sorry if I disappoint, but today this was the choice for me.  I'm not regretting it.

Heidi

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The Goals

Less than 48 hours until my next half marathon (that I'm not even remotely prepared for).  It will be interesting.  At the moment the weather report is calling for 35-45mm (or 1.5 inches) of rain on Sunday.  Oh ... fun stuff.  And let's not forget that daylight savings time takes effect on Sunday.  Race start is 8:30am, which will feel like what was 7:30am.  Oh ... more fun stuff!  Good news is I may just sleep through the race and not notice how much pain I'm in from lack of training - hahaha.

 

Now, even though I haven't properly trained for this I still have a couple of goals to set for this race:

 

• Goal A:  Finish!  This is bare minimum and short of some sort of serious injury or passing out ... I WILL finish.  This one is really not debateable.
• Goal B:  under 2:20.  I have never run a significant distance over a 10:40 pace and even with the lack of training I don't see it happening here.  If I get attacked by the stomach issues again this could throw a wrench in things.  But otherwise, I don't see that it could take me longer than 2:20 to finish this race.  Even though I haven't trained for this, I will be disappointed if it takes me longer than this.
• Goal C:  under 2:10.  This is really where I see myself finishing.  This is a 9:54 pace.  I know I CAN run it alot faster than this, but this is not ideal conditions.  Usually I can run forever at a 9:30 - 9:50 pace, so I'm hoping I can do that here.
• Goal D:  under 2:00.  Honestly I'd have to pull off some kind of miracle to make this one happen.  This is a 9:10 pace and I'm just not in good enough shape to pull this off right now.  It's still a goal of mine to finish under 2 hours, and I'm quite capable, but I do have to put in the training to achieve this.  Right now I don't deserve it.  But I can still dream.

 

After work tonight I'm off to pick-up the race package.  Then I'll be limiting starchy carbs until after the race.  Most people carb up for a race, but with my stomach issues I find I'm better off to avoid them, and also dairy.  I can have a light spaghetti the night before, but other than that it will be things like eggs, veggies, fruit, chicken.  If I survive, I'll be back on Monday to report how it went.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Keep Active!

 

Heidi

♥♥♥♥♥

When You Have Nothing Nice to Say ... Make A List!

I'm copying this list from Fran (and I've seen quite a few other bloggers do it too).  I'm in a cranky mood today and couldn't put forth a positive, uplifting thought if you paid me ... so this is a safe bet.  Nothing's really wrong, I'm just cranky and should not play with others today.
(A) Age: 38
(B) Bed Size: King
(C) Chore You Really Dislike: Ironing - I don't do it.  Also getting down and dirty with the toilets - blech!
(D) Dogs – one - mini Daschund cross - Tia
(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: black tea and some sort of breakfast
(F) Favorite Color: Don't have a stand-out favourite
(G) Gold or Silver? Silver
(H) Height: 5'5 1/2"
(I) Instruments You Play:  flute until Grade 10
(J) Job Title:  Administrator/Bookkeeper in an office of 3
(K) Kids: two teens
(L) Live: BC Canada
(M) Mom’s Name: Patricia
(N) Nicknames: don't have any
(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? I think only when I had my kids for one night each
(P) Pet Peeve: Probably should avoid this question ... though I must say I really don't like people who are manipulative, dramatic or frequently petty or negative, ohhhhh or wimpy.  Gee, I better stop, that list is growing in leaps and bounds.
(Q) Quote from a Movie: just one??? hmmm, lately it's been "Fixed the Newel Post" from Christmas Vacation.  I don't get to use it often but I LOVE "a hero is only as good as his weapon" from Hercules ... and the eyes bug out of the fish he accidentally grabbed out of the water instead of his sword.
(R) Right or Left Handed? Right
(S) Siblings: 1 older sister
(T) Time You Wake Up? 6:45-7:30
(U) Underwear: fairly boring, but comfortable - lace drives me insane and if I was looking to floss between my butt cheeks I'd wear a g-string, but I'm not.
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: green beans, cauliflower, avocado, green pepper
(W) What Makes You Run Late: anything and everything - I'll be late for my own funeral, though I have improved ALOT and am now typically on time (other than to work which they don't care two hoots about).
(X) X-Rays: I think only dental
(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Cookies! also German Pancakes and I'm pretty good at making soup
(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Giraffe

Ran 4.72 miles last night.  It wasn't wonderful, but I got through it. Not only was I cranky, but my legs were sore.  They're feeling better today, but I'm going to take a rest day anyway.

Keep Active!

Heidi

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Tick!

Another one on the books.  My friend and I did 7.15 miles last night - 9:36 pace.  Tummy acted up a bit.  Sure hope that isn't a problem on Sunday.

So I did ~6 miles on Sunday, ~7 miles on Monday.  If I keep adding a mile per day then I'll be at the half distance for the race (Sun - 6, Mon - 7, Tues - 8, Wed - 9, Thur - 10, Fri 11, Sat - 12, Sun 13).  No???? It doesn't work that way???? HAHAHHAHAA

Just kidding, I wouldn't do that.

Tonight I have about 5 planned, Wed will be a rest day, Thursday I'd like to do maybe 8 or 9 or 10 ... we'll see how I feel, Friday 3 and Saturday rest.  I'm thinking this will get me through the half on Sunday. 

After last nights run I feel confident that I'll make it through.

Keep Active!

Heidi

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