Change of focus

I doubt anyone reads this anymore, but mehhhh I'm avoiding work for a moment.

Essentially I have given upon running.  I can't seem to find a resolution to the plantar fasciitis problem, other than no running and even limited walking/hiking.  I'm beyond frustrated with it and really just don't have any interest in resolving it - aka I don't care.  Maybe one day I will, but today is not that day and tomorrow doesn't look much different either.

However, I have found another focus.  Through an unexpected turn of events, I have jumped right back into an old passion with both feet and perhaps a few other body parts.

I bought a horse!

In my last post I mentioned that we were looking into leasing a horse, which we did do.  A couple weeks after we began the lease, the horses owner had a change of situation and had to sell quickly.  We were devastated because this horse was a perfect match for both me and my daughter who was a complete beginner rider.  Also, the horse has a history of being tossed around a lot and hadn't really been cared for well in probably a long time.  Super sad because she is a total sweetheart.

I wasn't AT ALL prepared to begin horse ownership again, which is why I was getting back into this in a leasing situation so I could take baby steps.  The plan was to lease for a good 6 months, do some saving, get things set up at home again, and then look for a horse to buy.  However, knowing this horse was such a great match and that she really needed a forever home and someone who would take really good care of her ... I managed to pull a few strings and make it happen.

Introducing .... Stella!

She's currently staying at my friend's barn while I get things sorted out at my place, but she will be coming home very soon.  These things tend to snowball so let's all assume that Stella will have a buddy before too terribly long ;).

Even though I have owned and ridden horses for most of my life, my daughter didn't become interested in them until AFTER I had to sell my horses when we went through financial difficulties (figures right - haha).  She is loving riding!  This horse completely takes care of her and is totally safe, yet she isn't a boring plug that just plunks along.  She's continually teaching her things, which is the way I'd prefer it.  She will learn to ride, but won't get hurt.  Right now we are sharing her, but hopefully at some point in the next year I can have a horse of my own too.

So yeah ... don't know how much attention this blog will get from now.  But I thought I'd update on the direction I have gone.  I haven't dropped off the face of the planet ;(

Busy Week

Well that was a bit of a busy week.  Quick summary:

Tue - 3K clinic run - very painful.  Had to walk as it felt like something was going to snap along my shins.

Wed - Went to chiro/massage.  I am STUPID tight, and Dr doesn't really know why.  He did say it could be stress related, which makes sense.  He did some active release therapy (ART), but said I need to stretch, stretch, stretch and then stretch some more.  He recommended taking a rolling pin to all of my leg muscles as often as I can.  He thinks a foam roller wouldn't be firm enough for me.  I am a freak! :)  Went to the group run and did about a 5K tempo runs (3 min hard, 2 min recovery, 2 min hard, 2 min recovery, 1 min hard, 2 min recovery, repeat).  Had some pain, but it was better than Tuesday.

Fri - Just an easy 2K walk with my dog who is recovering from an emergency spay surgery due to an infection.  She sure was eager to go though.

Sat - Crazy day!  Dragged a friend of mine out for a hike.  It was supposed to be a relatively easy 5K with one steep section.  It was actually a little too easy, although enjoyable.  HOWEVER, we ended up taking a wrong turn and as we had a tight time itinerary that we were already running late on, we ended up having to run an additional 3K of hilly terrain ... and were still late.  A couple hours later we went out and tried out a horse that I'm now leasing (YAY!).  Can't wait to be back in the saddle again.  After that we spent the night decorating a cake for my friends 4 yr old nephew.  It was a long day, but a lot of fun.

Sun - Went out for an easy 8.5K run with some friends.  Still having tightness issues and had to stop at about 5K and do a 10 minute stretch out.  I'm not getting soreness after runs, but rather my legs just keep getting tighter as I run.  I don't doubt that they were tight from the previous days activities, but I'm sure hoping for continued improvement.  I think the key is as soon as things start to get uncomfortable I need to stop and stretch it out.  It seems once I get a good stretch in, I'm good to go.

Tonight is supposed to be a clinic run, but there is no speaker so I think I'll skip it and run on my own, and get a few errands done.  I'd rather hit up the training run with the group tomorrow night instead.  It cost me $5-10 on fuel each time I have to drive to town, so I try to limit that as much as possible.

Sorry for the boring post.  Hopefully for my next one I can have some pics of the new horse!!

Heidi

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Plugging Away

Well, after 3 weeks I think I have decided that the clinic thing is probably not for me.  It's OK, but I doubt I'll do it again.  The one thing, and main thing, is signing up for this clinic has got me running again.  Since that was the #1 goal then I'd say it is achieving it's purpose.

The actual clinic nights literally put me to sleep.  Which makes me feel bad because these people have taken the time to come out and educate us, but so far it's been things I already know and I'd rather not waste my time sitting there trying to keep my eyes open.

And ... I'm struggling.  My feet/leg issues are rearing up again (GRRRR!).  So the runs have been difficult.  Last night we only ran like 3 or 4km and I had to walk for at least 1km of it because my shins tightened up so much I actually was afraid something was going to tear.  I have an appointment after work to get stretched out, adjusted.  I guess it has been a while.  I think my last session was early June.  I may have to just go in monthly, or every 6 weeks.  Sucks cuz it drains my benefit package.

The one thing I do love about these clinics is the instructor is amazing.  Just a super nice guy.  And he always makes sure that everyone gets back OK.  I end up spending quite a bit of time with him because other than the first day, I've been the last one in and he keeps circling back to me.  Makes me feel guilty because I'm quite capable of being out there on my own, but I do understand because if I were him I'd probably do the same thing.  I just hope I can get my legs working well again so I can start doing some decent runs.  I'm not even benefiting enough aerobically because I can't get my heart rate up high enough with the leg pain.

My husband thinks I'm wasting my time going to physio and I should probably switch sports.  While I agree that running probably does speed up the time it takes to get tight again, I think reality is that no matter what I do it's going to keep happening.  It might not happen as quickly, but it will happen.  It even got progressively worse when I was doing NOTHING.  He thinks I should focus more on hiking and/or biking.  But I can't/shouldn't hike by myself and rarely have anyone to go with, not to mention that most decent hikes are 45-60 minutes drive away.  With fuel prices and time commitments, I can't do that consistently.  And while I like biking, I don't want to do it that frequently and I wouldn't do it when it starts getting dark out earlier or when it's raining.  Running I can still do during those times, and I WANT to run.  I know how good I feel when I'm running well, and I want that feeling again.

Heidi

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Lonely Run and A Gift

This weekend was the first "long" run of the half marathon group.  It's an optional run that they encourage you to do, and non-members can also tag along for free.   They have one mid-week as well, but since we were only running 3K that time I decided to run at home on my own rather than driving 45 minutes return for such a short run.  I've gone to these drop-in runs before with friends before, but never on my own.

Let's say it was .... interesting!

I had no problem finding my group this time, and the leader came up to me right away with the "instructions" for our route ... should we get lost.  He seems to be a very nice man and so far I'm happy to have him as a leader.

We started out as a fair sized group (20??), crossed the street and WHAM!!!  The leader of the group was looking down for a second and whacked his head on a Pizza Hut sign.  See, fast food IS bad for you!  He took off his hat and there was quite the gush of blood.  He is training for a full and had run to meet us, so someone offered to drive him to the hospital where he ended up with 4 stitches on the top of his head.

So, we were on our own, which was fine really since we had the route anyway.  But, in the whole mix-up of things, the group got really split up.  Within minutes I found myself running completely alone.  There was people way up in front of me and a few way behind me.  And with every traffic light the distance seemed to get farther and farther in both directions.  I ended up running the whole 7K completely on my own.

I don't mind running on my own at all, but if I'd known I was going to be alone anyway I would have gone to one of my more preferred running spots.  Running through the city on my own is NOT my idea of fun AT ALL!  I'm hoping it was just due to what happened, but will give it a few more weeks and hopefully it's better.

The run was super hot, and the first half was a lot of uphill.  We were supposed to be doing 10 and 1's, but on the second half I was a bit out of steam and did more like 5 and 1's.  I forgot my Garmin (the sin of all sins among runners) so had to just guess since I had no one around to follow.

After the run the strangest thing happened.  I got back to the store and was just stretching out, a little chit chat with a few other runners.  There was probably about 30 of us there.  I looked up and saw this older man walk across towards me.  He walks right up and says:

The moments that challenge us the most, 

are the moments that define us 

and make us stronger than we ever thought we could be ... 

I got a feeling you needed to hear that.

Cue "chin drop" and "chills".  It was the weirdest thing ever, but actually comforting.  Some people really have a gift.  He said he was going through some things himself and that quote helps him.  How he thought I needed to hear that I don't know.  Eerie!

I know it's only been a few runs, but I feel like I'm not fighting it so much as I was in the past.  I'm enjoying my days off, and kind of looking forward to the upcoming planned runs.  I don't care at all about my pace, nor about reaching or exceeding any specific distances.  I'm just plodding along following the plan.  It seems to be right where I need to be.

Heidi

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Eeekkkk .... Out out of my Comfort Zone

Well that certainly was out of my comfort zone.  Last night was the first night of the clinic.  I arrived and it seemed everyone else knew what they were doing, or had come with a friend.  There I was, alone and nervous.  I've never been to one of these clinics so didn't know how it worked.  There was a lot of people there, which I later learned was because there was 3 clinics on.

At the beginning I was very confused.  I didn't know if you ran on clinic nights, or just met up.  And I didn't know where to go when all the people went outside of the store and divided up.  I eventually found my group and felt like a tool because I had brought my purse with me (which I later stashed in my car and grabbed my run pack). At least I had dressed for a run, just in case.

We just did a 3K run at a very, very slow pace.  It was actually much slower than I expected, and to be honest I was relieved.  At first I felt so uncomfortable.  Everyone seemed to either know each other or at least had come with someone.  I was alone.  Eventually one woman sidled on up to me and engaged in conversation.  I really appreciated that.  From there on I had tidbits of conversations with a few of the runners.

But, most importantly, I made it!  Quite well actually.  I thought I would suffer some, but once I settled into a rhythm it was good.  Tonight is a drop-in run and we're supposed to do 3K tempo which will be a little more challenging.  Then on the weekend it's 7K.  We'll see how that goes.

Heidi

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Repairing The Inside

Well, I've gone and done it now .....

I signed up for a half marathon course!

I'm still having a hard time committing to running, but have finally decided that my current methods (eating, vegging out, crying, not sleeping, worrying, etc.) of dealing with the stress in my life just really do NOT work for me.  Huh ... go figure!  Somehow through all of that I do not feel any less stressed, and likely more. <----sarcasm at it's finest!

Last week I made the decision to check out what upcoming clinics there might be and, amazingly, there was a half marathon clinic starting up within the next week.  I knew I had to go for it, immediately, without thinking about it.  I drove straight to the store and signed up before I could talk myself out of it.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it, but I've been assured that I can drop down to a 10K clinic if need be, which is a lot easier than moving up to the half.  I wanted the challenge of the half and also it's a longer clinic, so a longer commitment from me, which is what I need.  I like being able to comfortably run the around a half distance on a regular basis.

We've had a bit of a heat spell here the last week so I really haven't got out much, but yesterday morning I eventually kicked my arse out the door and went for a run.  It was much too hot as I left too late, but I did it.  I did 7Km at a slow pace with extended walk breaks in between.  I'm really hoping there are some other very slow people in my group.

It was probably the most therapeutic thing I have done in a long time.  Just me, and the road, and my thoughts.  I let the tears flow when the going got tough, and I continued on.  If that ain't a life lesson, I don't know what is.

My new journey has begun, to a happier, healthier, more stable Heidi than I've been in a long time.  This is the first time I've approached this journey from the mental standpoint.  Previously it's been to lose weight, to get healthier, to be faster or achieve a certain goal.

Heidi

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Race Report: 5 Peaks Trail Series - Alice Lake

So .... I'm pretty sure I never mentioned this here, but I entered a race.  While I was going through all those sessions with the massage therapist, he mentioned one day that he wouldn't be in on a certain weekend because he was running a trail race.  My ears perked right up and I had to check it out.

I KNOW I am nowhere near in shape to run a road race to my satisfaction.  I know that if I were to enter one I would be filled with disappointment comparing my times to previous races.  Therefore, I have absolutely no interest in doing that.  But a trail race ..... now that interested me.  A chance to safely get out on new trails and just something very different from what I have done before.

This was a little more than just a trail race though.  With a 140 Meter/460 Feet elevation gain, it was nothing to laugh at.  As well as lots of fairly technical sections with roots, rocks, logs, mud.  The distance was only 7 Km, but for me it felt like at least 10-12Kms.

I have done some hiking lately, but really very, VERY little running.  I was not even remotely in running shape.  We started out on a flat trail and I knew then that this was going to be a tough day.  Very quickly we began the main ascent.  At first I tried running it very slowly, but quickly realized there was no way.  Pretty much everyone around me had the same feeling and we all walked up this long hill gasping for breath.

After what felt like forever it leveled out and I could begin to run again.  But my legs were burning!  From here was a series of ups and downs over technical terrain.  I questioned my sanity MANY times, and cursed myself for being so ill prepared.  I can't even recall how many times I wondered if the race would ever end.  Making it worse was the people at the front of the longer distance division were merging back onto our course and I frequently had to make way for them to go by.  Secretly I was a bit glad for the moment of having to stop and move aside.  The trail was often too narrow for more than one person at a time.

Eventually we went back to relatively flat ground for the last Km of the race.  However, I was done!  My legs were jello, my feet were SCREAMING in pain and they had also both gone completely numb.  And then I twisted my ankle - BAD!  I felt it go over and heard a loud crack.  After letting out a huge curse, I stopped for a minute until the pain subsided.  I thought I was done for.  Eventually I pressed on and managed to walk for a bit, wondering if I was going to be able to even get to the finish line on my own.  I had brought my daughter along with me and we had joked that she might have to drive us home if I twisted my ankle ... it was starting to look like she'd be getting some highway experience.  I started running again and a minute or so later went over on that same ankle AGAIN.  You'd think after all the technical stuff I had run over, a relatively flat trail with just a few rocks wouldn't be a big deal.  I think I just had no strength left to properly carry myself.

I did manage to I have never been so happy to see a finish line.  I felt like hugging the volunteers at the end, just because I was so thankful to finish.

My time was horrendous.  I knew entering the race I would not be going for any kind of time goal, but it's still hard not to feel embarrassed.  I placed 162/171 overall, 88/95 women, and 34/37 in my age group.  I have always been in the upper 50% of race results.  I'm still thankful to have been able to finish, but wow I've got some work to do.


To be honest, I had hoped that entering this race would give me a spark of motivation to pick up my game.  Sadly it did not, and I suffered BIG TIME!  Hopefully I have learned my lesson.  There is another race near the end of July.  As much as I said to myself over and over and over during the race that I wouldn't do this again ... I am considering it.  If only to redeem my pride. I need another day I think to rest as I am VERY sore, but it's most definitely time to drag myself out of the hole I am in and get on with life.  I need to become the runner I am inside (a little deep inside at the moment, but inside).  Mostly I need to start living again.

Heidi

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