I'm Giving Up!

I'm feeling like a bit of a failure. :(  I've been trying to follow this Clean Eating Diet for almost 2 weeks now and have come to the conclusion that it's not for me.  Two weeks isn't long and maybe I'm a failure for giving up already, but it just doesn't feel right.  I still very much agree with the principles of this plan (eating frequently, eating fresh, unprocessed foods, eating protein with meals, but I think I have to scrap it.

I'm feeling way too constricted with what I'm supposed to eat and what I'm not supposed to eat.  I was getting to the point where I was getting ZERO enjoyment out of eating and there was a day when I wanted to throw out all my food because the thought of eating it was making me gag.  Plus, I found myself constantly thinking of foods not on my plan, unhealthy foods - which is strange because normally I eat pretty well.  I ended up reaching often for things that normally I'd rarely have.  And when I did eat outside of my plan I had this feeling of guilt.  Personally I don't think you should feel guilty for eating something, even if it is horribly unhealthy. 

As I mentioned before, in the first few days I had horrible bloat, which mostly went away - but not completely.  I had a couple days of high energy, but I noticed that I also had periods of extreme tiredness.  Sometimes this would come on suddenly and hit me like a freight train - other times I could barely pull myself out of bed.  Though generally my energy would pick up later in the day.

I think the real kicker is that 2 weeks in my weight is still up a little and I'm still feeling bloated.  I think the time has come to kick this one out the door.

So I'm going back to what has worked in the past - counting calories with a focus on eating healthy, clean foods.  I had gotten bored with recording every bite, but it does work.

Wouldn't this be wicked? 

Also, I have my next race (10K) coming up this weekend.  As soon as that is over I'm going to dedicate more time to weight training.  I'm going to have lots of races throughout the year and while I want to do well at them, if I really want to change the look of my body I know that weights is where it's at.  I'm just often worried that I'll be sore from a weights workout before a long run (you'd be amazed how hard it is to run with sore biceps).  But what I really need is to work those muscles more often so I don't get as sore.  Make it part of my routine again.

Last night I did 40 minutes of weights (full body workout) and then 2 fairly fast miles on the treadmill.  Tonight I'm going to dedicate to some speed intervals on the track.  The workouts are always the easy part for me.

I leave you with a very important lesson ....

Goal Check

It's been weeks, probably more like 2 months, since I last ran with my running friends.  Some of them had taken some time off around Christmas.  So earlier last week I received an e-mail planning to get together again. 

I was fully expecting to be a bit sore after my long run on Saturday, and was pleasantly surprised to see that I was just fine.  No aches, no painds, no tiredness.

Plus, as an added bonus, the weather Gods shone upon us!  I tell ya, it POURED during the night.  I laid awake listening to it pelt against my bedroom window.  I almost talked myself out of going on the run since I'd already done my long run for the week.  But then I didn't want the girls to think I'd deserted them.

Somehow shortly before I headed out the door the clouds parted and our entire run was sunny and beautiful.  Must have been meant to be.

We're all at VERY different stages of running.  I ended up running with a lady who is pretty similar to me, but she hasn't been doing much mileage lately.  It ended up being good for me because after my long run I wanted a nice, slow, easy run that wasn't too long.  I figured we'd do about 5-6K, but we were having a nice chat and the weather was beautiful so we ended up doing about 9K.  I love those kind of runs.

MID-MONTH MILEAGE CHECK

I don't think I posted about this yet, but at the beginning of the year I sort of set myself a mileage goal.  I think I didn't post about it because to be honest I don't really know what I should set as a goal.  I've never tracked it before.

This could be adjusted, but at the moment I'm aiming for 750 miles (1200 Km) for the year.  I set monthly goals so I could make sure that I stayed on track throughout the year and didn't have to run 15 miles a day in December to reach my goal - haha.

My goal for January is 55 miles (88.5Km).  As of today I've already done 50.5 miles (81.3Km).

This makes me VERY happy!

I thought I'd have a harder time getting the mileage in this month, but it just keeps adding up.

Another goal I have set for this year (2010 Goals) is to do 100 Days of Strength Training - about 2 days/week.  Ideally I'd love to do 3-4 days/week, but I know this isn't always realistic so I set my goals to be achievable, then adjust if necessary.

So far this month I'm on track, but just! I need to squeeze this in a little more often.

CLEAN EATING

Today my plans got blown to bits.  I should have prepared myself yesterday.  But instead I chose to watch a movie with the family (The Proposal is the cutest movie!) and my plan was to get up a bit early this morning to pack my lunch.

Shortly after getting up my husband informs me that an appraiser is coming by the house in the next couple of hours.  Normally this would be no big deal but I'm currently in the middle of a major disaster.  I've got my bookkeeping files spread all over the office.  And since I had to pull out all my bookkeeping, I also decided to reorganize the office (aka years and years of junk stuffed into cupboards).  Plus, we recently ripped out what is supposed to be the ensuite to our bedroom, but we've been using it as a storage cupboard forever.  So all the contents from that were spread throughout my bedroom and dining room.  And, because I have to organize all that stuff into the basement now, then I had all the Christmas decorations spread out over my gym floor so it too could be organized.

All this to be done in the 1/2 hour I had to get ready for work.  And yes, he got a tongue lashing from me for not giving me more warning.  I ended up getting the major stuff tidied up (don't ask me how??) but I was left with not a moment to prepare food.

Instead I opted for a Subway Chicken Salad, a massive apple from the grocery store, and a handful of hazelnuts (they're not on this stage of the diet but I don't care today!).  I'm supposed to have had 3-4 meals by this time of the day, but luckily that salad is massive and is holding me over just fine.

I hate getting derailed, but I think I made OK choices given the circumstances.  I even had to stop at McD's this morning to get a cup of tea.  I can't tell you how strong the urge was to get a greasy hashbrown to go with it.  I had to talk myself out of it - yes, outloud!
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Resisting the Teddy Grahams

Yesterday I was 95% on my clean eating plan.  Right after dinner I had a little carb craving and did grab 8 mini teddy grahams (55 calories worth) and when I had the thought to put my hand back in for some more I just told myself "TWO WEEKS"  Two weeks on this restricted plan, then I can expand it a bit and will have changed my eating habits too.  These little bad habits of reaching into the cookies or having a bite of this and that are what is holding me back from achieving the body I really want.

Sure enough, I felt absolutely satisfied for the rest of the night.  You really do have to wait that little bit after a meal for the satisfaction button to kick in.

I woke up yesterday so incredibly sluggish, then by afternoon I was literally bouncing in my office chair.  Maybe it's the cleaner eating ... maybe it was all the inspiring blog entries I was reading - who knows!

So when I got home from work the first thing I did was hit the treadmill!  I only had a short time before we had to eat and go out to the kids sports, so I decided the best use of my time was to run.

And run I did!  I did 30 min of HIIT (2 min at 6 mph, 1 min of 9mph - some at 10 mph - repeat).  I tell ya ... that's a lot harder than just running the same speed for 30 minutes.  Overall I can run a faster steady pace, but I think those quick spurts are hugely beneficial to improving running speed, endurance, and a big bonus for weight loss.

I was a sweaty mess afterwards!

Got another clean menu going on today ....

6:30am - Wake-up - 2 c. water
7:30 am - Breakfast - 1/2 c. oatmeal, 2 tblspn ground flax seed, 1/4 c. blueberries, 3 egg whites, 2 c. water
10:30 - Mid-Morning Meal - 3 oz. Shrimp, tomato/cucumber salad, 2 c. green tea, 2 c. water
2:00 - Lunch - 4 oz. grilled chicken, 1/2 plain sweet potato, 1 pear, 2 c. green tea, 2 c. water
5:00 - Afternoon Meal - 2 egg whites, 1 whole egg, celery, 2c. water
6:30 - Dinner - 4 oz. tilapia, 1/2 plain sweet potato, broccoli, roasted tomatoes 2 c. water, 2c. peppermint tea

I increased my lunch protein today and moved the sweet potato from the mid morning meal to lunch.  I found that for my mid-morning meal I'm not very hungry so I can have a little less then, but by afternoon meal I'm quite hungry.  This should make my lunch meal a bit more substantial with a little more staying power.  For today it worked.

Tonight I'm gonna hit that treadmill again and maybe do a lower body weights session.
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Clean Eating

Tamara had a post today where she has gotten to the point of equating food with fuel.  I remember clearly getting to that point and it was a lightbulb moment.  It was that moment that I wanted more out of my body than to just be thinner, or even to just be fitter.  I wanted to be the best I could be.

Now, of course I still struggle with that because 37 years of old habits takes a little time to unravel .  Many times, and I've mentioned it on here too, I have tried different things to lead me to fuel my body better.  Often it was just the generalization of "eat more protein", "eat less sugar", "eat less junk".  While those are great guidelines ... they weren't specific enough for me to stick to and I haven't completely changed my habits as much as I want to.

On Jan 2nd I picked up this month's issue of Oxygen Magazine.  I've read it before in the past, but never with really in depth interest.  For whatever reason, this time some of the stuff in there really hit me.  Time and time again I look to the bodies of fitness competitors and I want "some" of that.  I don't want to be that extreme, I just want to look how they do in their off season.  I know a few women who do this and I like that look.  I LOVE muscle!! 

And as more time goes by, I am turning away from processed foods, additives, reducing sugar, reducing salt, reducing unnecessary fats.  It dawned on me that for a while now I've been mentally leaning towards "Clean Eating".

So last week I went out and bought a copy of Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Diet (thanks Mom - using up my Xmas money!)... and I've been reading and re-reading it since.  I don't agree with everything she says in there, but this is something I really want to give a true go at.

I've been following her "Cooler 1" plan for 5 days now ... and it's been tough at times.  I've been far from successful, but every day is getting better and organization is making things much better.  The first day I did fine until the evening when I wasn't prepared for dinner, ate a few pieces of chocolate, then my MIL put out a bag of shit Party Mix while we played cards and I think I ate half the bag.  Then the other day I came home from work, without dinner planned, and found my way into a bag of peanuts and had two whopping handfuls.  Even last night, I came home and prepared the family's dinner (nachos) and grabbed a couple chips and a spoonful of taco meat before I at my own dinner. 

Some would call that a fail.  Personally I learned something from these experiences.  Today ... I have celery sticks and boiled egg whites waiting for me at home.  If I'm tempted to grab something, I'll grab that.  My dinner is already prepped and ready to cook.

Last night I spent some time and boiled eggs, chopped veggies, defrosted shrimp, grilled chicken, ground flaxseed.  I'm all set for the next couple of days.

Basically the plan is to eat every 2-3 hours, having balanced, portion controlled meals 5-6 times a day.  Limit salt, no added sugar.  HERE and HERE are some reviews online that gives a better breakdown of the plan.

This is a sample day that I've set out for Cooler 1:

6:00am - Wake-up - 2 c. water
7:30 am - Breakfast - 1/2 c. oatmeal, 2 tblspn ground flax seed, 1/4 c. blueberries, 3 egg whites, 2 c. green tea, 2 c. water
10:30 - Mid-Morning Meal - 2 oz. grilled chicken, 1/2 plain sweet potato, 2 c. water
1:30 - Lunch - 3 oz. Shrimp, steamed broccoli & carrots, 1 apple, 2 c. water
4:00 - Afternoon Meal - 3 egg whites, celery, 2c. green tea
6:30 - Dinner - 4 oz. grilled chicken, 1/2 plain sweet potato, tomato/cucumber salad, 2 c. water, 2c. peppermint tea

I can increase the quantities as needed, but so far this has been OK.  The timing thing is what I'm struggling with, but it gets better every day.  At first I wasn't even remotely hungry around the suggested meal times, but now I can feel my body getting ready for that next meal.  It's the whole idea of smaller meals more often to keep the metabolism pumping.  It's a theory that I've believed in for some time, but not always put into practice.  My boss has already commented about how much (aka how often) I'm eating, but I don't care.

The first few days, I have to admit, I really questioned this plan.  I put on about 5 lbs almost immediately and was horribly bloated.  The other day my workout top was cutting into my arms and I almost passed out when I looked in my gym mirror and saw this puffy pillsbury dough boy.  Even my husband noted that stomach looked huge the other evening (like 5 months pregnant huge).  But today it seems to be coming down and I'm feeling "bouncy" today.  I've done some looking around online and it seems this is quite common while your body adjusts and I need to be patient.

I've tried plans along this line before, but when I've had the weight gain/bloat problem I got scared and quit.  This time though I'm going to push through.  I figure it's worth the risk.  And I really do want to eat more of these cleaner foods anyway.

Keep tuned to see the results .......