Monday, February 14, 2011

Missing: Motivation & Desire



I have no idea what's up with me lately.  I just have NO desire to run, or even exercise for that matter.  I'm not being particularly lazy.  My ass has not been parked on the couch eating bon-bons.  I've been busy doing things, constantly moving, though I have no idea what I'm actually doing.

Exercise has always been the easy part for me.  I love it!  My diet is the thing I usually struggle with, but a run or any type of workout has always been welcomed and enjoyed.

I have not run since last Wednesday.  And in fact, I haven't had a good, enjoyable run in some time.  I only have 16 miles logged so far this month, which is unheard of for me.  It's sad, but I can already see my mileage goal for the year slipping away, and that doesn't bother me right now either.

I had planned to run Thursday, then put that off to Friday, then decided on a short one Saturday and a long run Sunday.  Not one of those materialized.

Don't know if it's the weather.  I'm sick of the gray.  Sick of the rain.  Sick of the cold.  And plain just a little sick with a very slight nagging sore throat, not enough to really bother me, I'm just calling in excuses.  Also this darn leg just is NOT getting any better, it's not bad, but like the throat it's just hanging around reminding me every once in a while that it's not 100%.  But even putting that aside I have no DESIRE to run.  Even when I've been injured before and unable to run, I've still WANTED to, ached to.  This is quite foreign for me.

I can't even say that I'm in a funk.  In fact, life has been treating me pretty darn good lately for the most part and I feel very content.  It couldn't be that simple though could it?  Could being happy & content leave me with no 'need' to workout and find endorphins there?  It's a theory, though I don't believe it.

My half marathon is in 4 weeks.  THEE half marathon!  The one to redeem myself.  The one to PR.  And I haven't trained ONE BIT, and right now I don't care to.  This is so unusual for me.

I will still do it, but it will not be what I had hoped for, what I signed up for.  I will just get through it, to say I did it.  If I hadn't already registered I wouldn't bother.  I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy it anyway, but even if I managed to step things up right now I don't think I'd achieve the goals I had set out for originally.

Sigh ... for now I sit here just waiting for the fire to reignite.  Until then I hope at least you ....

Keep Active!

Heidi
♥♥♥♥♥

16 comments:

Aneta said...

first, what is this reward u speak off?? hahahhah

for the right price.....i will send u daily reminders to get ur booty into some running clothes and out the door!

will that work?

kimert said...

Big hugs!! I am sorry you are having a hard time lately.

I wish I could bring you to TN where we have sunshine and warmth. I think that would definitely help!

Syl said...

seriously? is this some kind of april fool's joke come early?
Heidi, get your running shoes on and GO seriously!!!

I will not let you let our running go slide. You still have the time to get it done and I have no doubt that you will.

I will not allow you to talk like this! get out there and run or I'm gonna be boarding the next plain and kicking your ASS!

Love you!
Syl

Syl said...

P.S.
GET STUBBORN AND REMEMBER YOU LIKE TO COMPETE....I HAVE A SLIGHT LEAD ON YOU....DOESN'T THAT JUST PISS YOU RIGHT OFF ??????? CAN'T HAVE THAT NOW CAN WE ;-)

Marlene said...

Do you think maybe my willpower not to overeat is maybe hanging out with your motivation? If you find them, send it back to me please! And I'll do the same of course...

Marcelle said...

I so understand you and this weather, every training session I have is a mental battle with myself, cant wait for summer time as its so much easier then...
Hang in there, you will find yourself again, you always do...

HS @ Our Debt Blog said...

Look, the hardest thing is getting started, as soon as you get out there and warm up you will feel great! I ran 4 miles yesterday in 26 minutes... keep in mind I'm fat but if I can do it you can too... now get out there!!

HS

Fran said...

This is nothing like you Heidi. Ever since I started reading your blog, you never did not want to run.

I think Syl said it right: GET STUBBORN!

Once you break through the "dislike" of running you will get back at it. You know you love it and you'll find your love for running back.

And if not: perhaps you should take a flight here, we have 8C almost everyday, no snow, hardly any rain, perfect weather for running. You're more than welcome :)

Jane Kaylor said...

sore throat is not a lot of fun its just uncomfortable and difficult to swallow.

usually, i would take the Nim Jiom Cough Syrup (www.geocities.jp/ninjiom_hong_kong/index_e.htm ) which has a thick consistency formulation. it coats the throat and includes herbs that are particularly good for that application.

i hope it works on you as well.

Missy said...

Bummer. Sorry your motivation has gone missing. Give yourself some rest days and I bet your body will be dying to get back out there. In the meantime enjoy a little downtime. Let your body rest...

destination262 said...

Hang in there Heidi! I think the weather can play a huge role in wanting to run. What always helps me is to buy a new running shirt or running pants. Something that gets me excited to get out there. I'm sending sunshine your way!!

Nej said...

It WILL reignite!!!!!

Fran said...

Found your mojo yet sweety?

Fran said...

No need to worry indeed. Sometimes it's good to give the body a break, we come out stronger after that.
I have no doubt you will be running again!

Syl said...

missing you and your posts Heidi, hope I wasn't too hard on you..... It was meant as a lite hearted joke :-)

Marcelle said...

I'm popping in to let you know I am missing you and your updates....come back now, enough enough!!!