Plugging Away

Well, after 3 weeks I think I have decided that the clinic thing is probably not for me.  It's OK, but I doubt I'll do it again.  The one thing, and main thing, is signing up for this clinic has got me running again.  Since that was the #1 goal then I'd say it is achieving it's purpose.

The actual clinic nights literally put me to sleep.  Which makes me feel bad because these people have taken the time to come out and educate us, but so far it's been things I already know and I'd rather not waste my time sitting there trying to keep my eyes open.

And ... I'm struggling.  My feet/leg issues are rearing up again (GRRRR!).  So the runs have been difficult.  Last night we only ran like 3 or 4km and I had to walk for at least 1km of it because my shins tightened up so much I actually was afraid something was going to tear.  I have an appointment after work to get stretched out, adjusted.  I guess it has been a while.  I think my last session was early June.  I may have to just go in monthly, or every 6 weeks.  Sucks cuz it drains my benefit package.

The one thing I do love about these clinics is the instructor is amazing.  Just a super nice guy.  And he always makes sure that everyone gets back OK.  I end up spending quite a bit of time with him because other than the first day, I've been the last one in and he keeps circling back to me.  Makes me feel guilty because I'm quite capable of being out there on my own, but I do understand because if I were him I'd probably do the same thing.  I just hope I can get my legs working well again so I can start doing some decent runs.  I'm not even benefiting enough aerobically because I can't get my heart rate up high enough with the leg pain.

My husband thinks I'm wasting my time going to physio and I should probably switch sports.  While I agree that running probably does speed up the time it takes to get tight again, I think reality is that no matter what I do it's going to keep happening.  It might not happen as quickly, but it will happen.  It even got progressively worse when I was doing NOTHING.  He thinks I should focus more on hiking and/or biking.  But I can't/shouldn't hike by myself and rarely have anyone to go with, not to mention that most decent hikes are 45-60 minutes drive away.  With fuel prices and time commitments, I can't do that consistently.  And while I like biking, I don't want to do it that frequently and I wouldn't do it when it starts getting dark out earlier or when it's raining.  Running I can still do during those times, and I WANT to run.  I know how good I feel when I'm running well, and I want that feeling again.

Heidi

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Lonely Run and A Gift

This weekend was the first "long" run of the half marathon group.  It's an optional run that they encourage you to do, and non-members can also tag along for free.   They have one mid-week as well, but since we were only running 3K that time I decided to run at home on my own rather than driving 45 minutes return for such a short run.  I've gone to these drop-in runs before with friends before, but never on my own.

Let's say it was .... interesting!

I had no problem finding my group this time, and the leader came up to me right away with the "instructions" for our route ... should we get lost.  He seems to be a very nice man and so far I'm happy to have him as a leader.

We started out as a fair sized group (20??), crossed the street and WHAM!!!  The leader of the group was looking down for a second and whacked his head on a Pizza Hut sign.  See, fast food IS bad for you!  He took off his hat and there was quite the gush of blood.  He is training for a full and had run to meet us, so someone offered to drive him to the hospital where he ended up with 4 stitches on the top of his head.

So, we were on our own, which was fine really since we had the route anyway.  But, in the whole mix-up of things, the group got really split up.  Within minutes I found myself running completely alone.  There was people way up in front of me and a few way behind me.  And with every traffic light the distance seemed to get farther and farther in both directions.  I ended up running the whole 7K completely on my own.

I don't mind running on my own at all, but if I'd known I was going to be alone anyway I would have gone to one of my more preferred running spots.  Running through the city on my own is NOT my idea of fun AT ALL!  I'm hoping it was just due to what happened, but will give it a few more weeks and hopefully it's better.

The run was super hot, and the first half was a lot of uphill.  We were supposed to be doing 10 and 1's, but on the second half I was a bit out of steam and did more like 5 and 1's.  I forgot my Garmin (the sin of all sins among runners) so had to just guess since I had no one around to follow.

After the run the strangest thing happened.  I got back to the store and was just stretching out, a little chit chat with a few other runners.  There was probably about 30 of us there.  I looked up and saw this older man walk across towards me.  He walks right up and says:

The moments that challenge us the most, 

are the moments that define us 

and make us stronger than we ever thought we could be ... 

I got a feeling you needed to hear that.

Cue "chin drop" and "chills".  It was the weirdest thing ever, but actually comforting.  Some people really have a gift.  He said he was going through some things himself and that quote helps him.  How he thought I needed to hear that I don't know.  Eerie!

I know it's only been a few runs, but I feel like I'm not fighting it so much as I was in the past.  I'm enjoying my days off, and kind of looking forward to the upcoming planned runs.  I don't care at all about my pace, nor about reaching or exceeding any specific distances.  I'm just plodding along following the plan.  It seems to be right where I need to be.

Heidi

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Eeekkkk .... Out out of my Comfort Zone

Well that certainly was out of my comfort zone.  Last night was the first night of the clinic.  I arrived and it seemed everyone else knew what they were doing, or had come with a friend.  There I was, alone and nervous.  I've never been to one of these clinics so didn't know how it worked.  There was a lot of people there, which I later learned was because there was 3 clinics on.

At the beginning I was very confused.  I didn't know if you ran on clinic nights, or just met up.  And I didn't know where to go when all the people went outside of the store and divided up.  I eventually found my group and felt like a tool because I had brought my purse with me (which I later stashed in my car and grabbed my run pack). At least I had dressed for a run, just in case.

We just did a 3K run at a very, very slow pace.  It was actually much slower than I expected, and to be honest I was relieved.  At first I felt so uncomfortable.  Everyone seemed to either know each other or at least had come with someone.  I was alone.  Eventually one woman sidled on up to me and engaged in conversation.  I really appreciated that.  From there on I had tidbits of conversations with a few of the runners.

But, most importantly, I made it!  Quite well actually.  I thought I would suffer some, but once I settled into a rhythm it was good.  Tonight is a drop-in run and we're supposed to do 3K tempo which will be a little more challenging.  Then on the weekend it's 7K.  We'll see how that goes.

Heidi

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Repairing The Inside

Well, I've gone and done it now .....

I signed up for a half marathon course!

I'm still having a hard time committing to running, but have finally decided that my current methods (eating, vegging out, crying, not sleeping, worrying, etc.) of dealing with the stress in my life just really do NOT work for me.  Huh ... go figure!  Somehow through all of that I do not feel any less stressed, and likely more. <----sarcasm at it's finest!

Last week I made the decision to check out what upcoming clinics there might be and, amazingly, there was a half marathon clinic starting up within the next week.  I knew I had to go for it, immediately, without thinking about it.  I drove straight to the store and signed up before I could talk myself out of it.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it, but I've been assured that I can drop down to a 10K clinic if need be, which is a lot easier than moving up to the half.  I wanted the challenge of the half and also it's a longer clinic, so a longer commitment from me, which is what I need.  I like being able to comfortably run the around a half distance on a regular basis.

We've had a bit of a heat spell here the last week so I really haven't got out much, but yesterday morning I eventually kicked my arse out the door and went for a run.  It was much too hot as I left too late, but I did it.  I did 7Km at a slow pace with extended walk breaks in between.  I'm really hoping there are some other very slow people in my group.

It was probably the most therapeutic thing I have done in a long time.  Just me, and the road, and my thoughts.  I let the tears flow when the going got tough, and I continued on.  If that ain't a life lesson, I don't know what is.

My new journey has begun, to a happier, healthier, more stable Heidi than I've been in a long time.  This is the first time I've approached this journey from the mental standpoint.  Previously it's been to lose weight, to get healthier, to be faster or achieve a certain goal.

Heidi

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