WOW, is it ever tough staying off the scale and just trusting myself with the knowledge that I'm OP and doing what I should be doing. I last weighed on my home scale on Friday before my WWs meeting. Today I had to do my WI for the challenge on the WW's board.
I was SO anxious this morning - I felt ill! Made me feel pretty disgusted with myself actually, how I've let that scale determine how I feel. Even when I awoke in the middle of the night I put my hand on my belly and thought, ugh, I bet I've gained about 2 lbs. My stomach is softer. My muscles feel like they're retaining water. And a zillion other negative thoughts raced through my head. Got up this morning thinking "Am I bloated", "do I have to go the bathroom", "can I fit in a short run before work"... CRAZY!
I ALMOST considered not weighing myself today and just using Friday's weight for the challenge, but that wouldn't really be accurate. I was so scared that I would get on that scale, be up a few pounds and just melt. Then I'd pull back the reins and get off of this expirement I'm on with eating a few more points per day.
But .. after some deep breathing and a lot of self talk and mental preparation to tell myself to ignore whatever it said on there ... I finally got on. And stayed the same as last Tuesday's home weigh in. Phewf!
Then came the temptation to step up again, and the temptation to weigh again after I'd been up for 1/2 an hour (just in case I'd dropped a little bit). But I resisted. This is hard!
I can't believe how many times I'm near a scale and feel tempted to step on. And it's only been since Friday morning. Sure I could put it away, but the temptation would still be there. And I'm WAY too resourceful to think that just having it put away would stop me if I truly wanted to weigh myself. There are just too many options out there to get my "fix".
So now it's done and I get my next fix on Friday. I'm really working on seperation from the scale & it's numbers. Pulled out a pair of jeans I wore when I was at goal last. I can't quite do them up yet - but I can see potential, and I can see improvement from the last time I tried them on. Though I did wonder if I had just transferred my obsession from the scale to another form of standard to measure by - hmmmm ??????