Thursday, June 10, 2010

Le Sigh

The last couple days have been a bit of a disaster.  I'm feeling overwhelmed and it's coming out in my eating and lack of energy.  My food choices haven't been ideal.  We're virtually out of all forms of fresh vegetables and I'm hesitant to buy any due to the uncertainty in my life right now (more to follow below). 

I have been craving chocolate covered nuts, of any kind, for a good week now.  Last night I finally bought a small box (though still about 500 calories worth - they add up quick!) and ate the whole thing.  Up until then I had just been eating "things" trying to quell the craving.  Figured I may as well buck up and face the demon.  May have worked, as today I no longer have the craving ... but it's the source of the craving that is more the issue.

While I've been active, it often hasn't been with my usual vigor.  And I'm dragging myself to do it.  Which isn't me.  Normally I LOVE to exercise.  Normally exercise is the one thing I can turn to even when everything else in my world isn't going well.  It's free and it's within my control.  Normally that alone makes me feel good.

Part of it is this weather - yes, we are back to rain again and it's really getting draining.  Will there ever be a summer?  It's June and I'm still having to make a fire most nights to keep the chill off.  All I want to do is come home, wrap in a blanket and crash on the couch.  It's also due to financial strain, which probably makes the rain that much more depressing. 

Tomorrow morning we must head out of town to attend a friend's wedding - my husband is a groomsman.  Originally this was supposed to be a 10 day trip so we could have a little holiday too.  The wedding is in an amazingly beautiful part of the country and it would be a huge shame to not explore it a bit.  Especially since the kids have never been there.

As of right now though, there are so many things this is hinging on.  It's less than 24 hours to departure and I still don't know with 100% certainty which vehicle we're taking (car/truck), what we're staying in (tent/camper/hotel), or for how many days we will be gone (3-10 days). 

For a planner like me .... the uncertainty is driving me nuts!

June 1 - 5 mile/8K run
June 2 - 30 Day Shred Level 1
June 3 - 4 x 1 mile treadmill intervals and core

June 4 - 30 Day Shred Level 1
June 5 - 2.5 mile walk and 1.5 mile run
June 6 - 3 Hours heavy clean-up
June 7 - 5 x 10 minute treadmill intervals and some core
June 8 - Shred Level 1

June 9 - 45 min run/walk

Keep Active!



Marlene said...

If there is one thing I have learned, resisting a persistent craving does no good! I end up over-compensating with anything and everything else in LARGE quantities and it inevitably results in a binge.

Missy said...

I totally understanding the frustration that comes with everything being up in the air. Egh. Hopefully it all gets smoothed out soon and you are able to have a fabulous time at the wedding!

I seriously think sometimes you should just cave to the craving (within reason) or you'll never get rid of it.

Hoping for some sunshine for you!

kimert said...

I totally understand your frustration with uncertainty! I am a planner too and like things prepared and ready. I hope things work out! You are doing so well with your activity!! Way to go :)

Tamara said...

Hey Heidi: thanks for explaining your interval runs to me. I so did not get that. If I ever do that, by the way, you'll hear me yelling YAY ME all the way from NWO to BC.

Now, about that energy drain, is it all mental? As in, due to outside circumstances? If so, that's good because tough as it is now, it will pass. It always does. Not to dismiss your stresses but just to say hang in there! There are better times around the corner.

Be careful not to put down all episodes of tiredness and lack of drive and energy to what's going on in your life if it persists. For someone as healthy and active as you are, persistant tiredness could be a sign of an actual ailment. Just keep a close eye on it.

And this is not to say that it is not VERY likely that it's just the f'n weather! Rain rain go away!

Syl said...

you just don't wanna meet my kids ;-). All kidding aside Heidi, I hope that the stress goes away and everything works out for you. I feel you about the cravings, I dumped a whole plate of brownies in the garbage yesterday, i didn't care which one of the boys may or may not want one, they needed to go and so I wasted, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I hope that our paths will cross next week however if they don't I am confident one day thiy will!

ajh said...

Yeah, I'm with you. I'm a planner and like to know what is going on. Good luck with it all.

Fran said...

I would go crazy too, I like to plan ahead too otherwise I go nuts. My hub finds that very irritating by the way that I want to plan everything ahead but for me it gives me peace at mind and makes me a nicer person to be around with.

Too much rain can make us depressed. We've had two days of nice Spring weather but today it's gray, bit rainy and windy. Weather normally doesn't bother me that much, you can't change it, but enough is enough.

So I hope you'll have better weather soon and enjoy your trip, I'm sure you'll have a good time.

Michelle said...

I would go nuts! I am so Type A and have to have everything planned - especially with vacations. Hope you enjoy your holiday!

Marcelle said...

You'll get your mojo back...I know you will, we all have been through this down period this year...hang in there and never give up.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel with the weather thing. The dark grey skies really make it to where you would rather snuggle on the couch rather than leave the house to excersize. I think the good weather is due to come soon and it's good that you are still pushing yourself to be active. I always feel better once I have done any physical activity, even if it's not as good of a workout as I had wanted. Hang in there Heidi, i think the sun will be out soon.