I spent a number of months at the beginning of this year living in a cocoon. Zapped out by stress and instead of turning to the healthy eating and exercise that lowers stress, I turned to cookies and (as my friend loves to say) "sittin' on the couch letting my ass grow". Not ideal!
It took me a while to start to get my groove back. In June I challenged myself to 30 Days of Activity. This was definitely the moment where things started to turn. I finally began to get active again. I'm now at what I call my "Happy Activity Level". I'm exercising most days, getting a good variety in, and for the most part enjoying it.
So ... what's left? I gotta get this weight off. Now, for the revealing moment. While I have been pretty open that weight has been gained, I'm pretty darn sure numbers have not been mentioned. You may have noticed there has been a significant reduction in pictures of me in quite some time. That is because I can not stand to look at myself in pictures right now. No, I don't think I'm disgusting, but I am not happy with where I am compared to where I was.
I have gained .... 21 lbs since February. At least 15 of that was gained in a 3 month stint. That is a pretty short time period to put on that much weight. My weight as of yesterday morning was 164.2 lbs. Sharing this is a hard pill for me to swallow, but it's time to get it out there in the open.
During bootcamp yesterday I revealed these numbers to my friend during our warm-up run. She was actually shocked and didn't realize it was that much. She asked me if I had not lost ANYTHING with all this exercise we've been doing - which the answer is not only NO, but that I have gained a bit more. It's all about what I'm eating.
I can NOT gain anymore weight. Any more and I will not fit into my clothes, and I can NOT afford (mentally or financially) to shop for new "fat" clothes.
While it's sad and frustrating to have let myself go this far, at the moment I'm actually past that. I'm not wallowing in it anymore, which is why I'm finally sharing. I'm mad and ready to take action.
Yesterday was successful. I planned out my meals for the day, and even though some logistical problems derailed the supper I had planned to make, I made adjustments and stayed within plan. My life will ALWAYS need adjustments. I just have to want this bad enough and do what is best for ME.
Please ... feel free to ride me. Nag me. Ask me constantly how I'm doing. I can not hide this weight gain behind a screen anymore. It's real and it needs to be dealt with.