Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm feeling so frustrated today. :( I feel like I'm working so hard and just not getting any results. Some days I can suck it up and appreciate all the other benefits of a better lifestyle. Other days (like today) I just want to bang my head against a wall until either it breaks, or I do. This week was pretty darn good, very active and mostly OP. And the 2 days that I wasn't 100% OP, I wasn't way off either. I certainly was within my weekly extra points allowance. So by all means I should be losing.

If it were just a week here or there it wouldn't bother me, but this just keeps dragging on. Obviously I must be doing something wrong - I just can't pinpoint it. ARGH!

I find myself laying blame that I didn't work out last night. Realistically though missing one workout shouldn't make a difference. I was exhausted and knew my body needed the rest, and I stayed OP.

I don't know ... guess I'll just keep plugging away. I DO know what giving up does - it makes me fatter, and I don't want to go there. I'll just have a little pity part for a while :(.

Today is also a bit of a stressful day because I have to face a situation with someone that I've been avoiding for a while now and can no longer avoid. It must be done, but it doesn't mean I have to like doing it. I know what I have to say will hurt her, but it's not fair to leave her wondering what's going on. I need to have the strength to stick to what I feel and be honest.


Ingrid said...

Oh honey!

I'll join your pity party! You are doing great, and you know it. We are just alike you know. We tromp on ourselves for the littlest thing, but pump each other up no matter what. We have to quit beating ourselves up. Yes we are going to have slip ups. Yes there will be times when it seems we are doing everything right, but the damn metal monster just will not acknowlege it. Are we going to give up? NO! NEVER!

You are an extreme source of inspriation for me and I am so glad to have you there with me as we do this together. We deserve to be hot little mamas! We are going to be hot little mamas!

I have decided as of this morning to start anew. Fresh. Right from the start. Day one. Yup, I'm a newbie. Need to forget what I know and start over. Right now.

As for your other situation, I'm sorry. I know it will be hard. Very hard. It sucks that it has to be done. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. Just call me and I'll listen. I hope you get through it ok. You are strong.

I miss you lots!

Heidi said...

Awww, I love you sis! Got tears in my eyes. Today is tough - just finished writing out the draft and I feel sick! Thanks for being there, though I wish you were here.

Lisa aka water_nymph said...

i hear ya on the frustration bit Heidi!! but yah, what IS the alternative really yanno??

good luck with the stressful situation..you may find once you let "it" go you'll feel freer and lighter.